Yours – Mine – My – Ours Status is the Baddest

Looking for a great Facebook status update for your wall? Then check us out at status is baddest so that yours, mine, my and our status can be the baddest on Facebook! Get one of these great statuses here where we update them every day. Most of these status updates can be used for either your Twitter or Facebook wall and they are guaranteed to make sure you get many likes and comments back. This is why here at status is baddest we search all over to find the best statuses and share them with everyone. So that way it makes yours, my, and ours status the baddest it can be. If you want all your friends to keep telling you “Your statuses are always the baddest” then be sure to check us out since it is our goal to find the best status updates available for people to post on their wall.  Check out some of our latest statuses here. We have added two more pages to this article to help you  find more of the statuses.

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Status is the Baddest – Updated Daily

• Some people might as well post “Wants Attention” as their Facebook status.
• Open fridge, nothing. Open Freezer, nothing. Story of my life.
• Internet Issues: Open a new tab & forget why.
• If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn’t succeed either.
•  I’d appreciate it if the city just delivered the phone books straight to my recycle bin.
• I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
• Thank goodness pets can’t talk, they all know too much!
• Some people are like fast food…they never look as good in real life as they do on TV.
• Everyone is gifted. Some just open the package sooner.
• That awkward moment when you change your facebook status to “single” and your ex likes it.
• One of the quickest ways for a young person to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he’s after his job.
• That amazing moment when you got a question wrong on a test but your teacher accidentally marked it correct.
• It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
•  If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done…
•  The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
• Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home. Your just doing it for attention and you’ll be back in an hour.
• Skinny people go skinny dipping… what do fat people do? Chunky dunk?
• Some girls are tan and others look like they went face first into a bag of Cheetos.
• Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
• The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
• I’m not fat, I’m harder to kidnap.
• It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.

• While you’re stabbing my back… you can kiss my ass!
• I’m a magician when it comes to pretending I’m scratching my nose when someone catches me picking it.
• My way of ignoring you in a Facebook conversation…not liking all your comments but liking everyone else’s.
• If you’re ever in an emergency and need a friend, I want you to know that I’ll always be at the bar and not interested in your problems.
• People are always telling me that I am insensitive…..but I honestly don’t give a sh*t how they feel about me anyway.
• You can never say exactly WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND if your family members are on your friends lists.
• If a cop stops me and says “papers” and I say “scissors”, do I win :S ?
• I didn’t fall, I attacked the floor.
• What happens in an exam : Tik tok , Mind block , Pen stop , Eye pop , Full shock , Jaw drop , Time up , No Luck
• Somewhere in the world, there’s a guy named Joe Shmoe who nobody wants to hire
• At times I feel that waiting for the right person in life is like waiting for boat at the airport
• Because you mean a lot to me, when you cry, I’ll cry, when you laugh, I’ll laugh, when you jump out a window, I’ll laugh again
• Yawning is your body’s way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
• No. My hair magically got shorter…
• yping a huge paragraph with your true feelings, but then erasing it and typing “yeah…”

That awkward moment when someone asks you what’s wrong, when they’re the problem

More  “That awkward moment when quotes for Facebook Status” updates.

• Did u know that when someone annoys u, it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack’em in the head?? SMACKK!!
• I have a confession to make… I’m not going to make it, but I have one.
•  LIKE IF you hate when you’re listening to the radio, and every radio station is on commercial.
• “Everyday I’m buffering” -YOUTUBE
• If you were born in the 90′s The best P.E. lessons involved a Rainbow colored parachute!
• Watched Transformers today. I’ve spent 3 hours in my garage telling my car I know his secret. He’s shy.
• Don’t play stupid with me – I’m better at it.
• Before I go to sleep, I start imagining stuff that I would like to happen.
• Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
• That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.

• That awkward moment when two people start a conversation on YOUR Facebook status.
• That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow?

That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow?

Click on this link to get over 50 of some of the funniest, wildest and craziest  “That awkward moment when quotes for Facebook Status” updates

• There are two sides to every argument but I don’t have time to listen to yours.
• If it wasn’t for stress, I’d have no energy at all.
• If friends could be bought at the store, I’d buy you. And I’d get a good deal because those “slightly irregular” bins are always discounted.
• If you see an onion ring…answer it!
• Facebook: Should really change its name to StalkBook…
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite distraction.
• Cell phones should have the option to change “airplane mode” to “drunk mode” that way my drunk texts never leave my phone…
• If the sky’s the limit, then what is space.. Over the limit?
• I know the exact day I gave up exercise. It’s on my birth certificate.

Mom Role Model Fail – Funny Facebook Profile Pictures

Click on photo to see larger image & read the comments.

• The surest sign that intelligent life exists somewhere else in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
• There’s a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it isn’t a fence.
• The really long sarcastic ‘Hahahahahaha’ before the ‘No.’
• People that buy regular Oreo cookies when they could buy the Double Stuffed Oreo’s are afraid to experience true pleasure…and are bad in bed.
• I work for a good cause. Cause I need money.
• All voicemails from my Grandmother start with “HELLO! HELLO!” and end with her trying to dial another number.
• WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? Your dad if he doesn’t have my money by tomorrow.
• I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning but not how it applies to me.
• There are more men than women in mental hospitals, which just goes to show who’s driving whom crazy.
• You lost me at ‘you had me at’
• What is the best way to fool people on Facebook? . . … See more
• I couldn’t pull out of my parking space. Had to use my back-up plan.
• My ex-girlfriend had this really weird fetish… she used to like to dress up as herself and act like a bitch all the time.
• The awkward moment when you suddenly remember something really hilarious in a silent situation.

Let this be a lesson in where to post racy, sexy photos of yourself!

• Att Haterz.. You don’t have to like me. I’m not a Facebook status.
• A Chinese couple had a black baby guess what they named him? Sum ting wong
• When my wife and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say “Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?”
• My daily needs: Food-5% Water-1% Sleep-4% Internet-90%
• You never really lose anything until you lose your best friend
• My parents used to be happy when I took naps… but now they think I’m lazy.
• Politicians are like sperm: One in a million turns out to be a human being.
• I don’t know my friends address but i know exactly where their house is!
• Tonight I’m cooking up a nice tasty savory dish of “Eat it or starve”. I hope my family is hungry. It’s gonna be a special treat.
• Tired apostrophes risk falling into a comma.
• Say this fast- {I, 1, 2, 1/2, 6}
• The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
• There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
• Weekend’s coming up. What do you say we surf the real world?
• likes to slip “I’m sorry” into almost every conversation, just in case.
• I don’t mind when older folks decide to relax and slow down. I just wish they wouldn’t do it in their cars.
• I blame movies for my high expectations in relationships.
• It’s funny how we feel so much but we don’t say a word, we’re screaming inside but we can’t be heard.
• If you want to understand politics, you have to read between the lies.
• A dry sense of humor is better than slobbering all over the place.
• *Wake up in middle of night, look at clock* yes I still have time to sleep
•  Survived another day. I’m on quite a roll here. What’s the record?
• I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
• is having the worst first date ever!!!! I’m going to throw out this package and never eat dates again

What in the world is wrong with this guy’s face and color? WTF?

Someone forgot to flip this guy over when he was getting tanned. He was DONE a long time ago! Huge Tanning Fail

My Status is The Baddest – Baddest Status – ̿’ ̿’\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿

• If u need a friend (text me) ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ need a laugh (call me) ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ need a hug (stop by) ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶need money (this number is no longer in service) lol ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶
• You must learn from the mistakes of others…U can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself!
• Sometimes I “like” friends statuses because they look lonely in my news feed.
• I’m making myself sick worrying about my health.
• That awkward walk/run you do when a car lets you cross the road.
•  Internet connection failed!: □ Wait patiently. ✔ Rape the refresh button.
• Lumber companies have a lot of board meetings.
• Ever notice how the people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you all riled up in the first place?
• The Lord works in mysterious ways… Just like those road maintenance guys.
• That fake laugh you do when you don’t understand what somebody just said to you.
• A GPS is only good if you can remember where you wanted to go in the first place.
• I wonder how many old people have died trying to cut open tennis balls to put on their walker.
• How many livers do people have? I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.
• A kid at my nephew’s birthday party s*** his pants and got to go home. I’m seriously considering this option at work today.
• farts, because it’s the only gas I can afford.
• Distance never separates two hearts that really care.
• People who read the whole newspaper are really annoying.
• The smaller the dog, the crazier the chick.
• What are you doing here? Was there a jailbreak at the zoo?
• Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
• has lots of friends; you just can’t see them.
• Poodles aren’t as absorbent as they look.
• The reason women ask so many questions is because they have an extra why chromosome.
• Starbucks has a new 40th anniversary drink that’s sugar-free, fat-free and contains no whipped cream. It’s called coffee.
• Sorry, kid… Daddy can’t watch you grow up because he constantly has to come up with funny stuff for this page.
• If you love something, let it go out with the guys once in a while.
• Those “No alcohol beyond this point” signs might as well say “Chug beer here.”
• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
• There’s a reason it’s called “Girls Gone Wild” and not “Women Gone Wild”. When girls go wild, they show their underwear. When women go wild, they kill people.
• Vacation is what you take when you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer.
• hasn’t been able to come up with posts lately, so I drank a beer & here I am waiting.
• Facebook is a like real life in that I don’t think of the witty reply until 5 or 6 days after the conversation happened.

Exposed by Dad on Facebook

• I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
• When I lose: “who cares? it`s only a game.”When I win: “HAHA! IN YOUR FACE!”
•  I hate when people don’t watch where I’m going when I’m walking and texting.
• I knew that wouldn’t flush when I ate it.
• I do my homework for a while then I reward myself a short break. The funny thing is that the break is never short.
• hates it when people who are holding a device capable of using Google ask me stupid questions.
• used to eat a lot of natural foods until I found out how many people die from natural causes.
• That horrible feeling you get when You know you’re forgetting something , But you don’t know what.
• People who walk in front of the theater screen while you’re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
• You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.
• Approximately 10 drinks ago I had a bunch of problems, but now I’m amazing and can sing really well!
• LIKE If you spend your time imagining stuff that’ll never happen.
• If money can’t make you happy, you won’t like poverty either.
• Never say “that won’t happen to me!”, because life has a funny way of proving us wrong.
• My ex complains that I always used to correct her. How do you think I feel being with someone who was always wrong?

There are millions of Facebook users now so there is tremendous competition every day to get a good or awesome status for your wall that will make people say “You got a Bad status” When we say bad, we mean bad meaning good! Here at status is baddest we spend all day searching the internet, forums, articles and just about anywhere we can think of to bring you the freshest, coolest and baddest statuses out there. We all know that the more likes you get on your status, the better it is.

More Statuses that are considered the baddest!

Checker face tattoo man

• As little as possible, just like every day!
• “If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be “bad at following directions”.
• If there’s so much labor-saving machinery, why don’t I have more free time?
• Father:  Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day.Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No Labor Day?’
• Is it Labor Day or Christmas?
• ✓ BBQ✓ Good Friends✓ No WorkLife is good on Labor Day!
• There’s no “I” in team, but there’s three in narcissistic and they’re all quite handsome.
• I was planning to take a flu shot until I found out it isn’t a kind of drink.
• Fools rush in… and get the best seats in the house.
• In dog beers…I’ve only had one.
• I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.

• Falling in love isn’t about finding the perfect person; it’s finding the person whose imperfections make them perfect!
• There are two kinds of friends: those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.
• You’re mine…. Yes we belong together……….(¯`v´¯)………..`•.¸.•´………(●̮̮̃•̃)..(●̮̮̃•̃)……… /█ ♥/█ ………For all eternity.
• Don’t go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.
• Of course I know how to shut up. I just never know when to.
• My favorite color is chocolate.
• When life throws you curve balls, never stop swinging the bat. You never know when you might accidentally hit a home run!
• My Life These Days is Very Simple…Eat, Sleep, Change Facebook Status…Never Better…
• thinks that it’s great when strangers become best friends, but it’s sad when best friends become strangers.
• Q: Why do Girls live Longer Than Boys? . . . . Ans: Shopping never Causes Heart Attacks, . But Paying the Bill does.
• Love is like two people holding a rubber band, we pull, then when one person let’s go, it’s the person who held on that gets hurt
• “Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead. No, wait…not me…you.”
•  These ‘energy saving’ light-bulbs are rubbish. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
• You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
• Sometimes I ask myself “Why me? What have I done to deserve this?” Then, I say to myself, “Oh…right.”
•  No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
• I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.
• If being apathetic is wrong, then I don’t care.

In case you find a status that you think can be one of the baddest around then you can also share it with us via comments. If our editors pick your status it will end up on this list where someone else will be able to use and you can feel good knowing you helped to make someone’s status the baddest around! Be sure to include your name within the statuses to let our editors know you want your name published if your statuses are chosen to appear here.  You can read this article to find out who holds the record for the most likes on a Facebook status ever.  Thank you for visiting and we hope your next status turns out to be one of the baddest!

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